lex and the city

I just googled something and I noticed at the top of the page before the results are even displayed, Google puts the approximate number of results (usually in the millions) and the time it took to get those results (usually a number of seconds).  That's insane. Not the number or the time span (which is pretty impressive) but that Google puts that first on the page. A subtle brag or a representation of how our society only values results. I recently read an essay about slowing down and enjoying nature called "The Invitation" by Barry Lopez. It inspired me to take a step back and recognize that being productive every single day is not the goal of life, or at least it shouldn't be.  Every night I go to bed thinking about all the things that I didn't get done that day and never the things that I did. I don't want to brag, but I can be a pretty responsible, productive member of society when I want to be. Except that I have never felt like I was in my life. Every we...

I’ve always loved stories and the idea of the impossible and the power of words. The way people use words to portray a certain world and build a certain belief. My life has been changed in many ways by different writers and I would love to be the writer who inspired a young person. There’s a quote I like that goes, “Be the person you needed when you were younger.” I really like that because I was so lucky as a kid to have a lot of older people to look up to and to support me. I had three older siblings, four parental figures who loved me, stepsiblings, and sibling in-laws who pushed me to be a better person. I’ve always had a great life as far as that goes, but I’ve always been searching for a purpose or something to focus my life on.   People always talk about a passion or something that sets your soul on fire. I never had that, or at least I didn’t think I did. Until I started really getting into poetry and essays and just different types of writing other than fiction/nonfiction....

I've been thinking a lot lately about the future and making plans.  Not just because my boyfriend of two years who I really believed I was going to marry, broke up with me, but because this is my last semester of college. This time next year I will be working a job that I either love or hate, living somewhere that I can afford or barely can afford, and I don't know who my friends will be.  As much as I try to imagine living in New York I just can't see how I could afford to live here. An entry-level job is going to barely cover a shared apartment, groceries, and my monthly student loan payment. I love New York and I love the friends I have here and I wish I could just stay and see what they accomplish. It's just not realistic for me to think that I could live comfortably here. So I'm going to end up somewhere else probably. I'm going to apply to jobs here, but I'll be applying in other places as well.  Breaking up with my boyfriend made me realize how much I...

Every year I find myself thinking about how I can't wait for this year to end and how it was such a terrible year.  Every year.  Why is that? Why is it that every December I find myself reliving only the lows and never the highs? I have my own theories, but for now, we'll chalk it up to the human condition.  Instead of doing that this year, I'm going to make a list of all the great things that happened in 2021.   1. My beautiful niece was born  When my nephew was born I seriously thought that I could never love another person the way I loved him. Now I have a niece and I've discovered that having nieces/nephews is essentially like having your own kid that you don't have to deal with all of the time. It's amazing although I do wish she didn't live quite so far away. It's having all of the good parts of a baby with none of the bad parts. And since I don't live in the same state I'm not available for free child care whenever they need it.  2. Findin...