lex and the city

I’ve always loved stories and the idea of the impossible and the power of words. The way people use words to portray a certain world and build a certain belief. My life has been changed in many ways by different writers and I would love to be the writer who inspired a young person. There’s a quote I like that goes, “Be the person you needed when you were younger.” I really like that because I was so lucky as a kid to have a lot of older people to look up to and to support me. I had three older siblings, four parental figures who loved me, stepsiblings, and sibling in-laws who pushed me to be a better person. I’ve always had a great life as far as that goes, but I’ve always been searching for a purpose or something to focus my life on.   People always talk about a passion or something that sets your soul on fire. I never had that, or at least I didn’t think I did. Until I started really getting into poetry and essays and just different types of writing other than fiction/nonfiction....

I've been thinking a lot lately about the future and making plans.  Not just because my boyfriend of two years who I really believed I was going to marry, broke up with me, but because this is my last semester of college. This time next year I will be working a job that I either love or hate, living somewhere that I can afford or barely can afford, and I don't know who my friends will be.  As much as I try to imagine living in New York I just can't see how I could afford to live here. An entry-level job is going to barely cover a shared apartment, groceries, and my monthly student loan payment. I love New York and I love the friends I have here and I wish I could just stay and see what they accomplish. It's just not realistic for me to think that I could live comfortably here. So I'm going to end up somewhere else probably. I'm going to apply to jobs here, but I'll be applying in other places as well.  Breaking up with my boyfriend made me realize how much I...

Every year I find myself thinking about how I can't wait for this year to end and how it was such a terrible year.  Every year.  Why is that? Why is it that every December I find myself reliving only the lows and never the highs? I have my own theories, but for now, we'll chalk it up to the human condition.  Instead of doing that this year, I'm going to make a list of all the great things that happened in 2021.   1. My beautiful niece was born  When my nephew was born I seriously thought that I could never love another person the way I loved him. Now I have a niece and I've discovered that having nieces/nephews is essentially like having your own kid that you don't have to deal with all of the time. It's amazing although I do wish she didn't live quite so far away. It's having all of the good parts of a baby with none of the bad parts. And since I don't live in the same state I'm not available for free child care whenever they need it.  2. Findin...

Something happened to me last week and I've been thinking about it ever since. My roommate was volunteering at a student government event at my school and I was keeping her company. A guy that I had known almost two years ago, pre-COVID was also there. This guy was a part of a friend group that had split apart right before COVID and I had assumed that he was on the opposite side that I was. So when he reached out his hand and said "long time no see!" I was shocked. I felt anxious and like he was only talking to me so he'd have a story to tell later. But the more we talked, he actually seemed genuine. So when the event finally ended, my roommate and I decided to go to Starbucks and we invited this guy to go with us. We're walking there and I'm making jokes about being broke and begging the barista for a Pumpkin Spice Latte because I only have seven dollars in my bank account. We get there and the guy orders first while my roommate decides what she wants. I hear...

Hello! Welcome back to the blog! I have been inspired to pick this back up again by my sister, www.sophoolery.wix.com, and Indy Blue, whoisindyblue.com. If you don't know who either of those people are, look them up. You won't be disappointed.  So what wisdom am I going to dispense on here today? I started my senior year and things are going okay. I have an internship that pays very little so if you want to donate to the Lex Foundation for (my own) Better Living, let me know. One of my professors has this brilliant lesson plan where we write reflections on five or six essays every week and then choose one topic to do a "deep dive" essay on. It is so much. Plus obviously writing for my internship and thesis meetings. You can't blame me for having this on the back burner for a while!  Okay, maybe you can since technically it's been there since March. Whatever, I'm back now.  The lesson that I have been learning this past couple of months since school started...

 Wow, a new blog post, and just when I'm sure everyone forgot about my blog. So I guess a life update is in order. Will there ever come a time where the majority of my blog posts are not life updates because I took too long in between posting? Probably not. I started an internship at the House of Speakeasy! I love it so much although it has kept me way busier than I anticipated. I've started planning my course schedule for next semester and realizing that next semester starts my senior year *shocked face*. I can't believe it; it feels like just yesterday I was spending my first night in a dorm. Anxious because I didn't know anyone, but also so confident that I could handle anything this city threw at me. Oh, how wrong I was.  Something that has been on my mind lately is obviously the future. I am the most anxious person and as my future approaches faster and faster, I just can't calm my worried mind. I have a general idea of what I'm going to do once I graduate,...